The Power of Self-Love

You can’t love others if you don’t love yourself. It is very easy to hide behind the love and care of someone else, to feel alive and motivated to succeed when another person values you. But what happens when the person whose love is fueling your life leaves the picture? What happens when you are dependent on your significant other for meaning in your life but then anger, resentment, and other emotionally crippling feelings kick in as the relationship progresses? The answer is that you end up crushed and feeling lost in the world because your sense of direction never came from within – someone else was controlling your future and happiness.

          Many who don’t know how to love themselves – and this does not mean being selfish or narcissistic – grew up not receiving unconditional love from their parents or whomever formed their nucleus. They continue to look for love from the outside world, hoping to get what they sorely needed when they were younger. Instead, they give up their capacity for love and power to control one’s self to a person that will promise to love them. After realizing in frustration that they are becoming needy and desperate for affection, they try to control the person who is giving them love and happiness, whether from fear of losing him/her or as a reaction to hurt caused by neglect.

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          Other people don’t give you power, you have to grow it from within. It’s not enough to have high self-esteem or a strong sense of self-worth; self-love means loving your flaws not just your greatness. It means accepting that what has happened thus far does not define your future. Self-love means not looking at others for definitions of who you are – only YOU can define your identity. When you love yourself you are free to truly enjoy life and those around you. Through self-love, you form meaningful and authentic relationships founded on trust because it is all originating from you. Self-love will make you see that the greatest person you can live happily with, has and will always be yourself.